Of Love, Longing and Belonging...

I have been thinking about the word Love. I think it is one of the most misunderstood and yet widely used words. In Marathi I would say ghasun gulgulit zaalela shabda.

But yeah, i have been thinking about this oft used word. One of my friends who recently entered holy matrimony was gushing about her beloved husband. Hers is a great Indian arranged marriage. She had met her husband exactly twice before she took the plunge. I asked her if it was love at first sight for her. She denied. this amazed me, but I asked her how it was possible that she had decided to get married to this guy she had met just twice. Her answer was that she will fall in love with this guy after marriage. What's the big deal. This reminded me of a certain Hindi movie. So 2 months later, (before I deviate from the topic... ) she was gushing about her beloved husband. He had written a love ballad for her and she was SO much in love with him! She was in a state of euphoria (I gave her a been there done that look) which according to psychologists is the first stage of love. The other stages being attraction, adjustment and acceptance. How the hell was she in love with this guy? I mean its like in an arranged marriage the stages of love become Topsyturvy. Acceptance and commitment comes first, then comes adjustment, then attraction which is mostly physical and lastly, if at all euphoria, the true feeling of being in love with someone. I didn't understand this woman.

I remember when I first started going out with my boyfriend, it was so wonderful. The feeling of happiness was omnipresent. I used to smile all the time. The world was a beautiful place. I went through all the stages appropriately. Initially it was all a bed of roses, then when the attraction phase came, I found everything about him attractive. His hair, the way he walked, the way he said 'give that to me', the way he smiled, well I could go on and on about it, but that's not the point. Then I had to adjust regarding some of his habits that I thought were annoying but were harmless. And then there was acceptance of the person in front of me whom I loved. Everything about him was accepted and loved because he was a package with good bad and annoying habits. There was commitment and a different level in understanding was reached.

Enough about me already. I don't understand how people become so obsessive with their respective GFs/BFs. I think its suffocating and restrictive. but then again, love has different connotations for everyone. Even this very good looking talented guy, who can be described as nothing else but uxorious. He is happy being hen pecked by his soon to be wife. I wouldn't tolerate her for a minute, but then again different connotations.

Longing these days for me has become synonymous with Love. I know I long to be with my boyfriend. I think about him fondly and miss him a lot. That is love too. I know that when I meet him again after this long gap, I am going to go through the stages of love again.

Love is the one word that probably takes me through the day.