Henry

Have you ever met someone and thought that you just 'clicked' with them? There are many times in our lives when we cross paths with interesting people and feel like we have known them for a long amount of time. For a long time, I have had a fantasy. It is not sexual, but merely, romantic. During my travels, I have wished many times that I run into  an interesting guy and share a level of comfort with him, seen only in couples married for several years. What a completely fantastical idea! Cynics would say. And I couldn't agree more. I am a frequent traveler. I take all sorts of transportation from planes to ships and I love doing that. I have run into folks of various shapes and sizes ranging from pungent, monosyllabic responders to magniloquent, jabbering baboons. The balloon of hope has been deflated then inflated by someone showing an inkling of intellect, only to be deflated again numerous times. I had almost given up on meeting the 'talker' until I met this guy. I cannot obviously reveal his real name for fear that he would  be tracked down or worse still, if he ever reads this and finds out how I feel about him, he would be devastated and I would be extremely ashamed. Let us call him Henry.

What was so special about this Henry guy? For starters, I didn't meet him while traveling. He met me while he was traveling and I was stationary. He took refuge in my house for a few days. Refuge would be stayed with me while traveling the world! Henry was English, affable and had a great sense of humor. From the instant we shook hands at the bus station, I took an immense liking for him. We were talking to each other like we had never been separated. He was a talker. No. He was THE talker. Why is this talker so important? It is because I believe that these momentary relationships we forge with people have an impact on our lives so deep that we don't even realize it. This talker I talk about, is actually none other than a part-soulmate. Someone we are destined to meet but not for long. He teaches us some valuable lessons in life and goes away, leaving a yearning in the heart but wholesomeness in the soul. Whatever I shared with him for those lucky days, some may call it chemistry, some infatuation and some may go far by terming it love, those feelings were unique towards him and I would rather not give them a name. He fit the archetype I was looking for. The talker, a simple person at heart, not very rich in the materialistic sense, but having an open heart and a great smile. His eyes sparkling with mischievousness ready to tease you  at the slightest hint. It was not purely physical attraction and it was not only a spiritual connection. It was a mix of the two and that is what makes Henry my part-soulmate. Part because I do not want to spend my life with him. I don't have knowledge currently of whether I will be meeting him again.  There are many such people out there. You may or may not marry one of them, but you will definitely bump into them at corners far and near. Henry had a profound effect on me. I sincerely hope I made myself a tiny place in his heart where he keeps his happiness. I also hope that in future when life leaves a rancid flavor in his mouth as life is known to do, he thinks of me and smiles and it becomes bearable to go on.

Here's to the talker then!

the church bell

The church bell;

It strikes away

As I hear it

I seek redemption

But it tortures my soul

Fills me with an irritability

Like it’s the end

Like life has left

As time moves to another station

I stand there and there only,

Waiting for redemption.

But get tormented instead

The agony and ecstasy all at once

I am a saint that never was

It’s the church bell.

Someone please stand guard

Don’t let time slip away

Stop the church bell.

For a sign of life

The floor struggles under my feet,

As I sneak around on my own.

An abode, a place to call home

It is vacant, empty,silent.

The vastness, oh the vastness opens up,

Piercing my ears with its screams

I run for shelter, from my own house.

I am frantic for a sign of life.

The chairs are still,

The table stares with glazed eyes.

The sofa succumbs to sleep

And my bed lies.

A bulb comes to life,

Replacing the rooms with light,

That’s worse than darkness even

I furnish and I refurbish

I clean, wipe, scrub.

My towel lies as it was in the morning

Crumpled, wet by me

I look at the sinister wall staring,
Mocking my predicament

For a sign of life

Did this move?

Was that a shadow?

Is someone watching me?

I wish! I wish! The house was haunted

But for a sign of life.

Mee Marathi!

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to discriminate against (or incriminate) any sect, caste, race, religion, community or nationality. It has been posted by a passionate Maharashtrian in patriotic fervor and not show any kind of superiority.

Special consideration for the US: This article is NOT a ploy to take over the world.

'Labhle amhas bhagya bolto Marathi.'

I cant stop raving about this song! This Marathi Asmita song has hit a nerve. It has made me realize how proud I am of my culture and the values imbibed in me. I love to speak in Marathi. Being in the US, I talk English, I walk English, I sleep English, bloody I even shit English. I die to speak to my parents and sis and anyone from India who will listen because I get to speak with them in Marathi. Of all things, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would miss talking in Marathi so much.

Some of my friends' think that I am a communal zealot. I am too proud of my community! But unlike Mr. Thackeray, I don't want to kick non-Marathi ass and throw them out. I want to co -exist. I still am happy that I was brought up in a 'cosmo' environment in school where we celebrated everything from Garba to Id to Christmas. I have friends from every religion and many languages. And I don't intend to say that Marathi is the greatest language in the world and nothing can be better, coz that's not true. But I would like to say this: Marathi is a beautiful language. It has versatile arts and its literature is one of the most extensive in the world. Its music is original and its artists are very talented yet humble. Its leaders have been foremost in bringing reform in the community.

Maharashtrians have a high thinking and they conduct themselves truthfully. They give immense importance to family values. They have participated with vehemence in the revolution. Yes, they cannot run businesses, hotels and banks. They prefer to work for someone, but they are simple people with uncomplicated needs. A good house, a good spouse, 2 kids, puranpoli and drama/cinema/musical performances on Sunday is all they need for happiness!

I am so glad, my parents did not take away the Marathiness in me when they put me in a Catholic school. Now, no one can.

As Jayashree T once said: I love Marathi!

Oh! its what you do to me..

I am a love struck puppy! Well I am not actually in love or anything near. Its just when I listen to this song called 'Hey there Delilah' by Plain white Ts, I remember-well, someone.

Oh its what you do to me! I was so young then. But I felt it. The love I mean. Maybe I could love him so much only because I was so young. What I felt then was so pure. Why did I grow up? I cannot love selflessly anymore. I am practical and selfish. But back then I was just a kid, still grappling with teenage. But it was so so pure. I was so pure. The feelings, when they hit me, the flood of tears when I realized I miss 'him'. And yet, I did not want to possess him. Did not want to touch him. But just be with him. Keep watching him. Look into his eyes, and feel love and only love, spotless.

I am thousand of miles away from him now. I am not sure if I can love anyone so much again anymore. If I can love at all.

2 more years..

Blunder of the day!

Blunder of the day: I see my roomie in the corridor. I heard from my other roomie, that she just lost her job. I am feeling sad for her. So I ask her, " Hey, I heard you got laid?"

She stares at me blankly. "that's none of your business." She says and walk off.

Oops!

The Great American Christmas Dinner

Hello fellow bloggers,

So I have been writing crappy blogs since the last few times. Of Love Longing and Belonging, although sounds smart was a total downer. The fact was driven nay drilled into my head by the fact that I got just one comment that too from a complete stranger who was also a BIG loser. Sorry bro!

Well I suck. But I am still going to continue writing crappy stuff on my blog because WTF..its MY blog!! So bear with it. Anyway..for the newest post scroll down.

Christmas! The time of the year when everything looks like its straight out of wonderland or neverland or some other fairy talish land. And why not. There's snow which looks astonishing against the dark red and brown backgrounds of the houses on which it falls. There's music, frolic and lighting everywhere. So, Christmas makes me really mushy. (It has got nothing to do with Christ's birth)

This year I got invited for the Great American Christmas Dinner. It was awesome! It was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. You know how the dinner is depicted in English movies- a large family, the matriarch/patriarch, the lovable and loving granny or grandpa, the pets, the children of the family, the daughter-in-laws, the guests. Well they were all there. They were all dressed up for the occasion. There was a huge dinner table set for everyone who going to be attending. There was mistletoe and Holly. The grandly decorated X-Mas tree. Now all this may sound mundane to Americans, but for me it was amazing. It was one of the best Christmases I have had in years.

So anyway, there it was, the X-Mas tree strewn with presents wrapped wonderfully. The tree itself adorned in the best decorations. The reindeer and Santa in the porch, the aroma of the pie being baked in the oven. The feeling of oneness and togetherness floating in the air and the wine. It was really straight out of a fairy tale for me.

The best part of the whole evening was the exchange of presents. Everyone got a present, everyone criticized what they got. Everyone actually loved what they got-even if it was a pair of socks or undergarments because come on you always need them all. The sibling rivalry, the affection. It was all there. Just like it used to be for Diwali.

At the Great American Christmas Dinner, I realized we are no different. We are just people who need love to survive. We need family. We need that. I mean the Diwali dinner we had every year was no different than the Christmas dinner. Whether its USA or India or Afghanistan well maybe not Afghanistan, we celebrate different festivals yes, but what we really celebrate is Love, togetherness and affection. And that is the same everywhere. Throughout the world. Yes we all belong to different races, cultures. But we are the same essentially. We are all just Humans.

Sigh!

Of Love, Longing and Belonging...

I have been thinking about the word Love. I think it is one of the most misunderstood and yet widely used words. In Marathi I would say ghasun gulgulit zaalela shabda.

But yeah, i have been thinking about this oft used word. One of my friends who recently entered holy matrimony was gushing about her beloved husband. Hers is a great Indian arranged marriage. She had met her husband exactly twice before she took the plunge. I asked her if it was love at first sight for her. She denied. this amazed me, but I asked her how it was possible that she had decided to get married to this guy she had met just twice. Her answer was that she will fall in love with this guy after marriage. What's the big deal. This reminded me of a certain Hindi movie. So 2 months later, (before I deviate from the topic... ) she was gushing about her beloved husband. He had written a love ballad for her and she was SO much in love with him! She was in a state of euphoria (I gave her a been there done that look) which according to psychologists is the first stage of love. The other stages being attraction, adjustment and acceptance. How the hell was she in love with this guy? I mean its like in an arranged marriage the stages of love become Topsyturvy. Acceptance and commitment comes first, then comes adjustment, then attraction which is mostly physical and lastly, if at all euphoria, the true feeling of being in love with someone. I didn't understand this woman.

I remember when I first started going out with my boyfriend, it was so wonderful. The feeling of happiness was omnipresent. I used to smile all the time. The world was a beautiful place. I went through all the stages appropriately. Initially it was all a bed of roses, then when the attraction phase came, I found everything about him attractive. His hair, the way he walked, the way he said 'give that to me', the way he smiled, well I could go on and on about it, but that's not the point. Then I had to adjust regarding some of his habits that I thought were annoying but were harmless. And then there was acceptance of the person in front of me whom I loved. Everything about him was accepted and loved because he was a package with good bad and annoying habits. There was commitment and a different level in understanding was reached.

Enough about me already. I don't understand how people become so obsessive with their respective GFs/BFs. I think its suffocating and restrictive. but then again, love has different connotations for everyone. Even this very good looking talented guy, who can be described as nothing else but uxorious. He is happy being hen pecked by his soon to be wife. I wouldn't tolerate her for a minute, but then again different connotations.

Longing these days for me has become synonymous with Love. I know I long to be with my boyfriend. I think about him fondly and miss him a lot. That is love too. I know that when I meet him again after this long gap, I am going to go through the stages of love again.

Love is the one word that probably takes me through the day.

paaus

Saw this poem somewhere on Orkut..Loved it..so its on my blog..I dunno who's its is.. :)

नेहमीचाच पाऊस तसा..आज वेगळा वाटला....
कोरड्या झालेल्या मातीत....नाच नाच नाचला....

तेच थेंब,तेच पाणी...
पावसावरचीही तीच गाणी....
गाण्यातला सुर जरा तेवढा....
एकटा एकटा वाटला....

नेहमीचाच पाऊस तसा..आज वेगळा वाटला....

पाण्यातुन वाहणारी कागदाची होडी....
वाफाळलेला कपातील चहाची गोडी...
कप जुना तसाच... मात्र....
चहातलाच गोडवा आटला......

नेहमीचाच पाऊस तसा..आज वेगळा वाटला....

रस्त्यावरचा नकोसा चिखल सारा.....
घरा-घरात घुसणारा सोसाटयाचा वारा...
घरं अगदी तशीच उभी....
वाराच कसा दिशा भरकटला.....

नेहमीचाच पाऊस तसा..आज वेगळा वाटला....

पावसामुळेच काय ते.. प्रेम-बिम जमलं होत......
एका हाताने.... दुस-या हाताला हळुच हातात घेतलं होत......
प्रेम कधीचच संपल....
कारण हातच कायमचा सुटला.....

नेहमीचाच पाऊस तसा..आज वेगळा वाटला....

अश्रुंना तुझ्या या आवर रे आता....
दु:खातुन तु जरा सावर रे आता....
अश्रु कधीचेच आटले हो....
एक थेंब फक्त्त डोळ्यात साचला.....

नेहमीचाच पाऊस तसा..आज वेगळा वाटला....

My tag!!!

Ok shruti, so u tagged me..i thought it was interesting..n therefore I will continue this...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I need to lose weight

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
15$and 40 cents

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
More

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Mom (not really boring because she is in India)

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
QSQT Ae mere humsafar guitar

6. What are you wearing right now?
tee and track pants

7. Do you label yourself?
Yes..lots of times

8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
Reebok, Payless and some unbranded ones

9.Bright or Dark Room?
Bright. Cant stand darkness

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Frankly? i think she is a nutcase just like me..but she is one of my closest friends..

11. What does your watch look like?
Its a Titan watch..ordinary..white dial golden hands etc.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping..snoring..dreaming

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Nothing special..some At&t offer.. :D

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
S**t

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
My sister! (oh but she is family.. :( )

16. Last furry thing you touched?
Very cute rabbits that go by names like Drake, Coco, Peanut, Snowflake, Shadow etc..

17. Favorite age you have been so far?
I think 17-18..was the best time of my life..but also 21..loved being young!

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
F*** you..to a friend I argued with

19.The last song you listened to?
Dooba Dooba rehta hoon aakhon men teri..

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Dahisar Anand Nagar

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Well yes..but I cant say their name.. :P

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
I hope someone is! Coz that will mean I have something to be jealous about. :)

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Mobile phone, Pitt ID, Books

24. What’s your favorite town/city?
Mumbai and Pittsburgh

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
To the secretary of State dept of transport..long story..

26. Can you change the oil in a car?
Nope

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Chatted with him a few days ago..works for a big corporate company..wont take the company's name..or he will know it was him.. :)

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My back..guess who?

29.What is your current desktop picture?
At the cost of sounding narcissistic..Myself!

30. Have you been burnt by love?
Hell yes!

Change

Change is inevitable they say. Change is sought after by most people. You need a change, so you go on a holiday. You need a change so you take a break from loved ones (read boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse) by cheating on them. Change is thrilling, fascinating even. Because change is new.  Inevitable. 

What makes me dedicate an entire article to this small word is that I have always wanted change in life. Change the way I look. Change my profession. Change the way I get educated in my country. Change how men disrespect women. (I know at this sentence my male readers have stopped reading so no more male bashing!). So basically I have ALWAYS wanted change in life. For better or for worse. 

I wanted change so I came to the US. I became a part of Pittsburgh and its very beautiful surroundings. After staying here for a measly 8 months, I have fallen in love with this beautiful university town. I had some bitter sweet experiences here and now its time for CHANGE. I will have to change residence because I will be shifting elsewhere for a job. But this time, I am despising change. Becuase this time, what I want has changed. I dont want change anymore. I want stability. I dont want to take a break from my loved ones. I dont want to take a holiday. I dont want to get educated elswhere. I want to do what people call settle down.

So what changed?  Frankly I have no answers myself. Too much of change is not good. Probably that changed. I got more than I bargained for. 

I want to change some things in life. I want more stability. That changed. Change is inevitable. Even if you dont it. It will be there! 

Some food for thought!

This morning I got up with a vague feeling. I dreamed of Utopia. It was beautiful! and of course unreal. but there it was. Everything was fine. Everything was put straight by us. The earth had been saved. There were no black holes and no global warming. the level of carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide and methane was perfect. No animals had become extinct or even endangered in many many years. There was greenery every where. On the social front, organized religion had evaporated in thin air. Its place had been taken by a free for all society. Gender bias had been stopped too. Crimes were almost non existent. Women were not raped and all children were provided with education. Everyone had jobs. People were content. There was abundance of food. Everyone observed social responsibility. Children were loved by all. elders were respected. There was a Uniform Civil Code. Passports were not necessary any more. Visas were not issued for entering and exiting countries. There was no bloodshed and no wars for land and territory. In fact, there were no borders. Everything was PERFECT!

After having this dream, I should have been a happy person. But this morning I got up with a vague feeling. It was a nagging kind of a feeling. It was tugging at me. Why? I wondered. I kept pondering over this question. Why was I not happy. It was indeed a happy dream. then why not? I went to college with this feeling.

When I entered my classroom, my friends congratulated me. I had supposedly won the Essay competition called the 'The World in 2109: better or worse?' In the essay I had imagined Utopia. Just like in my dream. But somewhat more elaborate. Yes. Utopia.

What if, we really, in some far fetched time line, do achieve Utopia. Will the world be a better place? Oh yes! but surely. It would be. Every one will be happy and content. Everyone. But for one person. The WRITER. The writer will die, wither away in anonymity. Utopia will mean the sad demise of the writer, the author, the poet. What will he imagine about? How will he write stories filled with optimism. How will he portray the real 'reality?' How will he write heart rending poems about the poor, the suppressed and the downtrodden? How will he find the lotus blooming on mud? How will he create castles in mid air?

I smiled to myself. I had got my answer. I would no longer be needed. I am the writer. I dream. I write. I create. I weave. Oh but I wouldn't be able to do it right?

So much for selfishness. but definitely some food for thought ha? Ha Ha.

Thats the way it is...

It was one of those days that come very often in my life. Blue and gloomy. It was my second week in the US and I still didn't have an on campus job. Petty problem in the larger scope of life. But for the ant in me, it was a mountain. I was finding it difficult to get a phone. My laptop was not exactly working like a supercomputer and to top it all, my dad's bank was going on an indefinite strike. Phew! The problems were mounting. I was left alone. In an alien country, where you are making your parents pay through their noses, these issues are termed as problems. So I had Problems.
I decided to quit. i decided to give in to sadness. I wanted to cry and that I did. I went to this park where I could be alone for all the time I had and no one could have cared less. And so, I went there with my burden and sat with my woes feeling like i have the worst troubles. I was so engrossed in self pity that it took me a little while to recognize a song being played in the distance.
it said, "i can read your mind and I know your story,
I see what you are going through,
its an uphill climb and I feel like sorry,
but I know it will come to you yeah,
So don't surrender coz you can win...."
Celine Dion. I thought to myself. I decided to explore the source of the music.
I started walking. It really was an uphill climb. I was huffing and puffing by the time I reached the top. But the view from the top was breathtaking. The panoramic view of the entire city lay in front of me. It was simply beautiful. It was worth the climb, I told myself. I never found out the source of the song. But it didn't matter so much. I had realized the importance of the uphill climb. The view from the top of the mountain was what I wanted to see. The climb was inevitable. I had to make it. Sometimes alone, sometimes with someone, but it had to be done.
In the distance I heard the church gong. I smiled to myself. After all I was being taken care of. I saw self pity slither away. In its place there was inspiration. Sprouting new leaves. Still a sapling, but nevertheless present.
I kept hearing the gong as I left for home.
It was the begining. Not the end.

People!

Well, my first week in America and am already learning to live. I always thought I was independent. I also always thought that the kind of people I met in my undergraduate years were the 'types' I am always going to meet henceforth. But I was absolutely, devastatingly wrong. Here in the US the greatest country in the world, I am meeting people who are nice and not so nice. Some are hypocrties while some others are plain irritating. Also, my so called independent streak has been dampened by life's travails, that too only in the first week. Sigh! I say so because, I realized that living alone anywhere is not an option for a sane person. Man is a social animal and he/she will remain so. Interaction, company or frienship, it can be called by multiple names, but living together and sharing is so very important.
When I was in India in my own house meaning I had a place to stay; I was always complaning. Sometimes it was about food, someimes about the furniture and sometimes about nothing. I took my family members for granted. But here in America, their absence makes me realize their importance. I dont know if it hppens to everyone who leaves their family. Maybe it is a universal feeling. So be it. Realizing such a big thing is an important benchmark for me.
As for the people here, I am discovering newer species everyday. People can go to any lenghts to impress others and I just hope I am not one of those. Other people are so nice to you that you wonder what good work you have done to deserve it. And here I seriously hope I am one of them.
My college hasn't even started and I am already step higher in internal learning. I hope to go much further and farther both internally and externally.
(Whew! Maybe I should learn to talk and write less!)

SplitsVilla

Get real girls..
I saw a few episodes of SplitsVilla today on MTV. Must say, it was terrible. Not because it had skin show, which it had, but because girls are so bloody stupid. Guys on the other hand, as always walk away after having lot of fun.

What I fail to understand is how do these 10-12 girls actually become ready to be a part of this show where they know they are going to be mocked at. Why put yourself through such unintelligent brainless rigmarole? I really hated what was happening. After all, women themselves want to degrade their clan by vying for the attention of two super idiotic, dimwitted so called males who are definitely male chauvinist pigs. Man! Those guys cannot even speak in English. Plus, it all boils down to one thing in the girls- Sex appeal and then some more. Is wearing skimpy clothes and dancing seductively the only way to grab a man's attention. These very girls consider themselves intelligent. Hah! My foot! The girls appearing on both Splits villa and Get Gorgeous (Channel V) are anything but intelligent. Yes they are sexy, (whatever), they maybe bold but totally dumb! Please don't tarnish other normal girls' image specially in front of guys. Its been only recently that some guys have started accepting that girls too are smart and intellectual.

Any way, one verdict: DUMB girls, DUMBER guys and an extremely DUMB show.
MTV.....yuck!

Can I be a child?

Ma, can I be your child again?

As I grapple with life everyday,
As I struggle to fit in.
Sometimes here, sometimes there
I remember the days ma,
when if i was alone, you played with me.
When my life revolved around dolls and dogs.
When I could come crying to you because Ramu did not talk.
When you brought me that lovely pink frock.

I remember those days now ma,
As I struggle to fit in.

I am an adult now.
I am responsible.
I have to work now,
earn something feasible

I remember those days now ma,
When if I was afraid, you hugged me.
When i was ill, to sleep you lulled me
When you told me stories of Alice in Wonderland,
When you told me of Peter Pan and Neverland

Today I am afraid ma,
I need your soft push to get me going.
I need you to help me face the storms.
I have to face the rain alone,
I am afraid I will falter.
Will you offer me your hand again?
So I can bear the pain.

Oh! Can I be a Child ma?
Can I be your child again?

There are times...

There are times when you are totally frustrated with whatever is going on around you. Sometimes there is no particular reason for it.

As such everything is going ok. But then suddenly everything seems to go wrong.
You get up late and reach late for work
Trains are more crowded than ever
You fight with your parents/Colleagues/ Friends/ Boy friend
You blame everything on PMS

And then the vicious cycle starts.

There are times when you fee like crying but you bite your lip and swallow your tears and all the other emotions that have swollen up become a lump in your throat.
There are times when the person you love the most tells you that you are not the most important person in their life.
There are times when your friends don't have time for you but for someone else.
you come to know about your friends lives through some random person

There are times when you laugh where you want to cry.
You talk to people even when you don't want to.
You smile and laugh when you would rather introspect and think
Jealousy is killing you but you keep going on.
The days seem to drag on and you seem to have lost purpose in life.

And then there are the days
When you feel like you own the world
You make someone smile
Your patients actually like you and look forward to meeting you.
You meet Toto Chan and your eyes fill up with tears of joy.
You wake up to find the Himalayas floating in front of you and you sigh with relief.
You thank God. You see God. You feel It.
You go on a picnic with people who care for you.
You find time to laugh over petty things.
You sleep peacefully after a hard day's work.
Your mom makes delicious food for you.

There are times when you feel like you will become something in life.
You seem to have a purpose.
Your aims are sky high.
You are motivated enough to move mountains.

There are times and then there are times.
Between these two, I live!

To All Men

Yet another story of assault on women. Another woman gang raped by some men. Still another raped by some other men. The list is endless. And that too on the third day of the New Year. What an auspicious start!

This is an appeal to all men. We are sorry. We thought we could equal a mighty, cruel and brutal beast. We had thought we could walk shoulder to shoulder with you. But little did we know that we were overestimating ourselves. We did not know it is your rights to molest us.To stare at us every time we walked on the road. To be mentally undressed by some pervert is commonplace. To be groped and touched against our wishes should not offend us. Still we have to continue walking. Not pay attention to what is happening. And suppose we muster up the courage to fight it, we are actually molested and raped. My question to all men is WHY? But of course women are to blamed. They dress provocatively. They titillate the senses. They are promiscuous. They don't cover their faces. What a crime! How dare women be so free? They are supposed to be mere sexual animals. Born to satisfy a male ego and a male body. To be defiled and degraded by their own fathers and uncles and husbands and husbands' friends. How dare they swear at a lecherous mob? Don't they understand, it is the men's right to gawk at them and pass lewd comments. Don't they understand that they are things and not humans? Don't they understand that they have no right to walk on the road unaided? Oh women! Your naivety is not going to be appreciated.

Every single day the newspapers are full of crimes, and rimes against women takes a major chunk of space. Every time I read about a woman being hurt, I feel like I have suffered the injustice. Is it ever going to stop? Whether it is the workplace or a slum or a bus or even a brothel, it is the woman who suffers. Why? Because the man cannot take control of his urges. I am filled with so much fury at this lame fact that I feel all men who dare to even touch a woman without her permission should be castrated. Straight. Deprived of the one thing that they are proud of. Maybe I am taking it too far. But seven years of imprisonment is just not enough for a crime as heinous as rape. Whenever I read about such thing or sometimes see them happening around me, I feel pathetic, cheated. I feel like I have been lured into believing that I can dream too. That it is alright to think that I can roam freely on roads. Bullshit I say.

They say "heaven hath seen no fury, as a woman scorned" Scorned? It has become more than that. But where is the fury? Where is the agitation, the revolution? Where are women's groups? And I don't mean the political ones. Women are known to be emotionally stronger than men. Is it to bear these atrocities that we are stronger? Is it to keep quite and take it all in the stride? Hell no! We have to become physically stronger. Fight it out. It has been proved that continued resistance to a rapist's advances tends to put him down. Why should women be weaklings? Stand up for your rights women. We have been brought on this earth for a specific purpose, not to warm someone's beds. Why do we always need a Mahatma Phule for our own emancipation? Why can't we fight our own battles? Start today. Make your little girls as strong as your boys. Make your boys respect women. Don't put them on a higher pedestal. But on a similar one. Don't worship them but just treat them like fellow human beings.

To all men I plead to please, please stop being so cruel. Please just let us be. Change your outlook towards us. Don't try to look inside our clothes. Rather look inside our hearts. You will find that our heart also beats at 72 beats/minute. We too have blood flowing through our veins. We too have eyes and a nose and hands and feet just like you. We are in essence just like you. Then why should we face these acts of violence alone? Oh! Please, please be kind to us. We are human beings too just like you are. We are neither Freya nor Durga. All we ask for is peace. Oh but isn’t that the costliest thing on earth?

The Addict

I see him everyday.

He just sits and sways.

He had a stomach to feed.

And yes a mind, so what if full of greed?

He had no money to spare.

But he had his own share.

Of?

Things unknown to you and me.

Things we don’t everyday see.

Pangs of hunger.

Lack of slumber.

Yet he dared to dream.

One day to be society’s cream.

He wanted a house a son and a wife.

Who was he?

He was the addict.

Addicted to LIFE.

What shall I write about??

“What shall I write about?” thought the poet.

Cried the beggar, “cant you see me and my crippled limbs,

Write about me o’poet and my fight for bread crumbs.”

Cried the mother, “write about me oh poet,

I have a son on the borders to be sent.”

“where’s your attention dear poet?” roared the king of the jungle.

“ you have killed me and left my skin with flies to mingle.”

“ o my see what you have done to me.” sobbed the oak.

“I have been stabbed and cut and my branches all broke.”

“ stop it, stop it!” pleaded the poet.

“ I shall write about all of you dears.” He said.

Eyes stinging with tears.